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Spiritual Perfection in Householder Life
By Sankarshan Das Adhikari
Householder Life: An Equal Opportunity for Going Back to Godhead
Householder life, if properly conducted according to the
instructions of the great acharyas is a powerful tool for attaining
spiritual perfection. Spiritual perfection means to awaken the pure
love of God which is currently lying dormant within one’s heart.
Such awakening qualifies one to become a fully liberated soul even
within this very lifetime and to thus become fully qualified for
going back to home, back to Godhead at the end of this lifetime. For
such a liberated soul death is not at all fearful. Rather it is an
exciting moment of being promoted to a better position within the
inconceivably amazing arrangements of the Supreme Lord. For such a
liberated soul going back to home, back to Godhead is not a concern
because by dint of his pure devotion he has already attained the
kingdom of God through his constant direct association with the
Supreme Personality of Godhead. Just as Lord Caitanya prays that He
does not want wealth, women, followers, or even liberation from the
cycle of birth and death, that He only desires pure devotional
service—in a similar way, the devotee of the Lord who renounces
material sense gratification and fully absorbs himself in devotional
service is fully satisfied simply by being engaged in devotional
service. He requires nothing else for his happiness. He is
completely happy and free from anxiety. His going back to home, back
to Godhead is fully guaranteed, but even before attaining that
transcendental realm he is a fully liberated even in this world by
his full surrender to the orders of Sri Krishna and Sri Guru.
This exalted state of pure prema-bhakti, pure love of Godhead, is
just as available to the householders as it is to the brahmacaris
and sannyasis. In fact in this connection Srila Prabhupada points
out in a Srimad Bhagavatam lecture he gave in Gorakhpur, India on 12
February 1971, that among the twelve great mahajanas, the number of
grihasthas is greater than the number of brahmacaris. In the list
below we see that out of the list of 12 mahajanas, seven of the list
are grihasthas and five are brahmacaris:
1.
Lord Brahma (grihastha)
2.
Narada Muni (brahmacari)
3.
Lord Shiva (grihastha)
4.
Kumaras (brahmacari)
5.
Lord Kapiladeva (brahmacarI)
6.
Svayambhuva Manu (grihastha)
7.
Prahlada Maharaja (grihastha)
8.
Janaka Maharaja (grihastha)
9.
Grandfather Bhisma (brahmacari)
10.
Bali Maharaja (grihastha)
11.
Sukadeva Goswami (brahmacari)
12.
Yamaraja (grihastha)
Srila Prabhupada points out that anyone who knows the science of
Krishna can become a mahajana, a great transcendentalist. So the
householder should not think that he is hopelessly trapped in a dark
well of sense enjoyment. He should realize that he has equal
facility with the brahmacaris and sannyasis for becoming a pure
devotee of Krishna. Just as the brahmacaris and sannyasis can
strictly follow the orders of the spiritual master and become
perfect, similarly if the householder strictly follows the rules and
regulations of householder life under the guidance of a bona fide
spiritual master without any deviation, he will also attain
perfection in this very lifetime.
Krishna confirms in Bhagavad-gita 9.32 that everyone has an equal
opportunity to attain the supreme destination. We can see the
wonderful example of Bhaktivinode Thakur. He was an employee of the
British government and he had a very large family. And at the same
time he was a pure devotee of Krishna and a powerful acharya of the
Krishna consciousness movement. This should be the standard of all
householders. If one strictly follows the rules and regulations of
householder life, his married life is called grihastha ashram
because it is place for spiritual cultivation. But if one neglects
the scriptural injunctions and the instructions of the spiritual
master, his householder life is called grihamedhi life and will take
him down to the animal kingdom in his next birth.
Srila Prabhupada very wonderfully describes the glories of the ideal
householder, Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur: “Our acharya Bhaktivinode
Thakur was the perfect householder and we should take his example.
How nice a householder he was and how nice children he produced; one
of them is my Guru Maharaja. That is the example. So follow it and
become successful in Krishna Consciousness.” (from a letter to
Svarupa das written in Bombay on 15 June 1971)
Bhaktivinode Thakur has written a very nice song in which he teaches
the perfect mood for householders:
'āmāra' bolite prabhu! āre kichu nāi
tumi-i āmāra mātra pitā-bandhu-bhāi
“O Lord, nothing further remains that may be called ‘mine.’ Father, friend, brother-You alone are all these to me.”
bandhu, dārā, suta, sutā-tava dāsī dās
sei to' sambandhe sabe āmāra prayās
“My friends, wife, sons and daughters are now Your servants and
maidservants. Whatever care I take for them is only as they are
related to You.”
dhana, jana, gṛha, dāra 'tomāra' boliyā
rakhā kori āmi mātro sevaka hoiyā
“Declaring that my wealth, family members, home, and wife are truly
Yours, I continue as a mere servant to dutifully protect them.”
tomāra kāryera tore uparjibo dhan
tomāra saṁsāre-vyaya koribo vahan
“For the purpose of Your service I will earn money and bear the
expense of maintaining Your household.”
bhālo-manda nāhi jāni sevā mātro kori
tomāra saṁsāre āmi viṣaya-praharī
“I know nothing of what is good or bad; I simply render my service.
I am but a watchman set to guard the properties of Your household.”
tomāra icchāya mora indriya-cālanā
śravana, darśana, ghrāna, bhojana-vāsanā
“I exercise my senses only according to Your direction, and thus I
desire to hear, see, smell, and taste.”
nija-sukha lāgi' kichu nāhi kori ār
bhakativinoda bole, tava sukha-sār
“I no longer do anything for my own pleasure. Bhaktivinoda says,
‘Your pleasure is the essence of everything.’"
The Guiding Principles for Liberating the Householders from Material
Entanglement
The wonderful regulative principles of freedom have been lovingly
presented by the previous acharyas and so clearly explained in a
manner just suitable for our understanding by our ISKCON
Founder-Acharya: His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada. These divine guidelines, if sincerely followed, enable
us to attain the supreme goal of pure Krishna bhakti. Even though
householder life is a concession for sex pleasure, this does not
mean that the householders have a license for unrestricted sex
pleasure.
In his purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 3.14.33 Srila Prabhupada
strongly warns those who are married to avoid sex that is not
according to regulative principles:
“Sex life with one's wife is equal to prostitution if the
regulations are not properly followed.”
And he very wisely guides the householders in his purport to
Bhagavad-gita 3.34 as follows:
“One has to follow those rules and regulations, unattached to them,
because practice of sense gratification under regulations may also
lead one to go astray -- as much as there is always the chance of an
accident, even on the royal roads. Although they may be very
carefully maintained, no one can guarantee that there will be no
danger even on the safest road. The sense enjoyment spirit has been
current a very long, long time, owing to material association.
Therefore, in spite of regulated sense enjoyment, there is every
chance of falling down; therefore any attachment for regulated sense
enjoyment must also be avoided by all means. But attachment to Krsna
consciousness, or acting always in the loving service of Krsna,
detaches one from all kinds of sensory activities. Therefore, no one
should try to be detached from Krsna consciousness at any stage of
life. The whole purpose of detachment from all kinds of sense
attachment is ultimately to become situated on the platform of Krsna
consciousness.”
Srila Prabhupada very wisely advises the householders that even
though they have license for sex enjoyment they must cultivate
detachment from it. So how do they do that? What are the practical
guidelines? How to have sex, the topmost of all material pleasures,
and at the same time become detached from it? In the very beginning
days of ISKCON Srila Prabhupada gave specific instructions to his
householder disciples exactly how they were to have sex in such a
way that they could simultaneously become detached from it. These
practical guidelines are most important because they save the
householders from remaining attached to sex pleasure. These
guidelines are absolutely necessary because as long as one is
attached to sex pleasure it will not be possible for him to go back
to home, back to Godhead. In the following letter written to
Satsvarupa das on 20 September 1968 when Srila Prabhupada was in San
Francisco we see clearly Srila Prabhupada’s order that sex is
limited to once a month just after the wife’s menstrual cycle.
Also Srila Prabhupada strictly forbids any kind of contraceptive
method as being very much sinful:
“In your letter of the 17th instant, you have very frankly inquired
from me about householder life, especially in the matter of sex
relationship. A sannyasi is not supposed to be asked about anything
sexual. But still, because you are so much dependent on my
instruction, so I must give you information as far as possible.
Married life is not for sex indulgence. The principle of marriage is
on the background of getting good children. So the householder is
allowed to have sex life once in a month, just after the menstrual
period. The menstrual period prolongs at least for 5 days, so after
this 5 days, one can have sex life provided he desires to get a
child. And as soon as the wife is pregnant, no more sex life, until
the child is born and is grown up at least for 6 months. After that,
one may have sex life on the same principle. If one does not want
more than one or two children, he should voluntarily stop sex life.
But one should not strictly use any contraceptive method and at the
same time indulge in sex life. That is very much sinful. If the
husband and wife can voluntarily restrain by powerful advancement of
Krishna Consciousness. That is the best method. It is not necessary
that because one has got wife, therefore you must have sex life. The
whole scheme is to avoid sex life as far as possible. And if one can
avoid it completely then it is a great victory for him. Married life
is a sort of license for sex life on condition of raising children.
So you should try to understand these principles of married life and
use your discretion.”
Srila Prabhupada likens contraception to illegally denying a tenant
access to his apartment. The unborn spirit-soul in a seed form is
present within the semina of the male. When he injects the semina
into his wife the spirit-soul gets the opportunity to develop a body
within the womb of the mother. If the woman takes birth control
pills she has made her womb an uninhabitable place for that
spirit-soul who is rightfully entering into her body it to take up
residence and develop a body. Thus contraception is a criminal act
of illegally denying a tenant access to his apartment. Similarly if
condoms are used the soul is being blocked from even getting through
the door of the apartment which is rightfully his to enter. Thus the
use of condoms is also a criminal act.
The Vedic ritualistic ceremony for impregnating one’s wife was known
as the garbhadana samskara. It was a child-begetting public
religious ceremony for sanctifying the placing of the seed within
the mother’s womb. Sex was not indulged in in a fit of passion. It
was instead carefully regulated for attracting the highest quality
children to take birth. In this regard Srila Prabhupada explains as
follows in his purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 5.2.2:
“According to the Vedic system, therefore, before a child is
conceived, the garbhādhāna-saṁskāra is performed. This ceremony
molds the mentality of the father in such a way that when he plants
his seed in the womb of his wife, he will beget a child whose mind
will be completely saturated with a devotional attitude. At the
present moment, however, there are no such garbhādhāna-saṁskāras,
and therefore people generally have a lusty attitude when they beget
children. Especially in this age of Kali, there are no garbhādhāna
ceremonies; everyone enjoys sex with his wife like a cat or dog.
Therefore according to śāstric injunctions, almost all the people of
this age belong to the śūdra category.”
The time and place of having sex was sanctified by a ceremony before
the seed of a child was planted within the fertile womb of the wife.
Srila Prabhupada describes the necessity of the garbhadana samskara
in his purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 3.20.28 as follows:
“It follows that any father and mother should also be careful while
begetting children. The mental condition of a child depends upon the
mental status of his parents at the time he is conceived. According
to the Vedic system, therefore, the garbhadhana-samskara, or the
ceremony for giving birth to a child, is observed. Before begetting
a child, one has to sanctify his perplexed mind. When the parents
engage their minds in the lotus feet of the Lord and in such a state
the child is born, naturally good devotee children come; when the
society is full of such good population, there is no trouble from
demoniac mentalities.”
Srila Prabhupada further elaborates on this in his purport to Srimad
Bhagavatam 3.14.38 as follows:
“The conditions for having good progeny in society are that the
husband should be disciplined in religious and regulative principles
and the wife should be faithful to the husband. In Bhagavad-gita
(7.11) it is said that sexual intercourse according to religious
principles is a representation of Krsna consciousness. Before
engaging in sexual intercourse, both the husband and the wife must
consider their mental condition, the particular time, the husband's
direction, and obedience to the demigods. According to Vedic
society, there is a suitable auspicious time for sex life, which is
called the time for garbhadhana. Diti neglected all the principles
of scriptural injunction, and therefore, although she was very
anxious for auspicious children, she was informed that her children
would not be worthy to be the sons of a brahmana.
The point is that one must follow regulative principles in order to
beget saintly children. Unregulated sex life attracts children of a
demoniac quality. In the former times to insure good progeny the
system was that a husband and wife would have no sexual relations
unless there was first of the execution of the garbhadhana samskara.
The birth of a human being is a great science, and therefore
reformation of the act of impregnation according to the Vedic ritual
called Garbhadhana-samskara is very important for generating good
population. The problem is not to check the growth of the
population, but to generate good population on the level of Vidura,
Vyasa and Maitreya. There is no need to check the growth of
population if the children are born as human beings with all
precautions regarding their birth. So-called birth control is not
only vicious but also useless.”
And in his purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 3.31.5 he further states:
“The garbhādhāna ceremony before sexual intercourse was compulsory
for persons in the higher grades of society, and it is very
scientific.”
To not follow the principle of sanctifying one’s act of sex is very
dangerous because it can attract children of a demoniac mentality.
This is confirmed as follows by Srila Prabhupada in his purport to
Srimad Bhagavatam 3.16.35:
“The living entity takes shelter within the semen of a father, which
is injected within the womb of a mother, and with the help of the
mother's emulsified ovum the living entity grows a particular type
of a body. In this connection it is to be remembered that the mind
of Kaśyapa Muni was not in order when he conceived the two sons,
Hiraṇyākṣa and Hiraṇyakaśipu. Therefore the semen he discharged was
simultaneously extremely powerful and mixed with the quality of
anger. It is to be concluded that while conceiving a child one's
mind must be very sober and devotional. For this purpose the
Garbhādhāna-saṁskāra is recommended in the Vedic scriptures. If the
mind of the father is not sober, the semen discharged will not be
very good. Thus the living entity, wrapped in the matter produced
from the father and mother, will be demoniac like Hiraṇyākṣa and
Hiraṇyakaśipu. The conditions of conception are to be carefully
studied. This is a very great science.”
Krishna states in the Bhagavad-gita that He is that sex life which
is not contrary to religious principles:
balaṁ balavatāṁ cāhaṁ
kāma-rāga-vivarjitam
dharmāviruddho bhūteṣu
kāmo 'smi bharatarṣabha
“I am the strength of the strong, devoid of passion and desire. I am
that sex life which is not contrary to religious principles, O lord
of the Bhāratas [Arjuna].”—BG 7.11
In other words when one has sex in accordance with the Vedic
injunctions that sex is sacred because it is Krishna Himself. This
sort of divine sex life attracts children with divine qualities to
take birth, and is therefore very desirable..
So how is the householder to execute this purification of
seed-giving in a practical way in the present day? Even though Srila
Prabhupada is a sannyasi as our loving father he has guided his
householder disciples precisely on what they should do to purify the
act of sex for begetting saintly children. Srila Prabhupada’s order
is that the householders should each chant at least fifty rounds of
Hare Krishna mantra japa before combining for trying to produce a
child. Srila Prabhupada states this in a letter to Syama dasi that
he wrote to her from Los Angeles on 18 January 1969 as follows:
“You have asked me some questions about the functions of sex life in
Krishna Consciousness, and the basic principle is that it should be
avoided as far as possible. However, if it is unavoidable, then it
should be utilized only for begetting Krishna Conscious children. In
that case, the husband and wife should chant at least fifty rounds
before going to sex.”
This instruction of Srila Prabhupada is divine. During the time
when Srila Prabhupada was physically present on this earth the 50
rounds requirement was common knowledge understood and accepted by
all ISKCON devotees. By following this instruction the husband and
wife are elevated to a very high state of consciousness in which
they will attract a spiritually advanced child to take birth. I
remember many years ago when I was a brahmacari in Miami, Florida,
USA a householder devotee told me how he and his wife had both
chanted 50 rounds the night before for sanctifying their attempt to
have a child. He told me that after they had both chanted 50 rounds
of Hare Krishna japa that they were so much relishing the bliss of
Krishna’s holy name that they decided not to come down to the bodily
platform by having sex. Thus they decided that they would wait
another month before trying to beget a child. This is a wonderful
testimony to the sublime power of Krishna’s holy name. It elevates
the sincere chanter to a plane of consciousness far, far beyond the
sufferings and enjoyments of this material world.
Srila Prabhupada is very emphatic. The householder is to be just as
disciplined and regulated as the brahmacaris and sannyasis. In fact
he is not to engage in sex life at all unless he has gotten specific
authorization from his spiritual master to do so. This is confirmed
as follows in Srimad Bhagavatam 7.12.11
etat sarvaṁ gṛhasthasya
samāmnātaṁ yater api
guru-vṛttir vikalpena
gṛhasthasyartu-gāminaḥ
“All the rules and regulations apply equally to the householder and
the sannyāsī, the member of the renounced order of life. The
gṛhastha, however, is given permission by the spiritual master to
indulge in sex during the period favorable for procreation.”
PURPORT
It is sometimes misunderstood that a gṛhastha, a householder, is
permitted to indulge in sex at any time. This is a wrong conception
of gṛhastha life. In spiritual life, whether one is a gṛhastha,
vānaprastha, sannyāsī or brahmacārī, everyone is under the control
of the spiritual master. For brahmacārīs and sannyāsīs there are
strong restrictions on sexual indulgence. Similarly, there are
strong restrictions for gṛhasthas. Gṛhasthas should indulge in sex
life only in accordance with the order of the guru. Therefore it is
mentioned here that one must follow the orders of the spiritual
master (guru-vṛttir vikalpena). When the spiritual master orders,
the gṛhastha may accept sex life. This is confirmed in Bhagavad-gītā
(7.11). Dharmāviruddho bhūteṣu kāmo 'smi: indulgence in sex life
without disobedience to the religious rules and regulations
constitutes a religious principle. The gṛhastha is allowed to
indulge in sex life during the period favorable for procreation and
in accordance with the spiritual master's order. If the spiritual
master's orders allow a gṛhastha to engage in sex life at a
particular time, then the gṛhastha may do so; otherwise, if the
spiritual master orders against it, the gṛhastha should abstain. The
gṛhastha must obtain permission from the spiritual master to observe
the ritualistic ceremony of garbhādhāna-saṁskāra. Then he may
approach his wife to beget children, otherwise not. A brāhmaṇa
generally remains a brahmacārī throughout his entire life, but
although some brāhmaṇas become gṛhasthas and indulge in sex life,
they do so under the complete control of the spiritual master. The
kṣatriya is allowed to marry more than one wife, but this also must
be in accordance with the instructions of the spiritual master. It
is not that because one is a gṛhastha he may marry as many times as
he likes and indulge in sex life as he likes. This is not spiritual
life. In spiritual life, one must conduct one's whole life under the
guidance of the guru. Only one who executes his spiritual life under
the direction of the spiritual master can achieve the mercy of Kṛṣṇa.
Yasya prasādād bhagavat-prasādaḥ **. If one desires to advance in
spiritual life but he acts whimsically, not following the orders of
the spiritual master, he has no shelter. Yasyāprasādān na gatiḥ kuto
'pi. Without the spiritual master's order, even the gṛhastha should
not indulge in sex life.”
After hearing the rules and regulations for grihasthas, Krishna
conscious householders, a householder may think that this is not
possible and that this will ruin his marriage. But we are wisely
instructed in the Svetasvara Upanisad 6.23 to put our full faith in
the words of the scriptures and the words of the spiritual master:
yasya deve parā bhaktir
yathā deve tathā gurau
tasyaite kathitā hy arthāḥ
prakāśante mahātmanaḥ
“One who has unflinching devotion for the Supreme Lord and is
directed by the spiritual master, in whom he has similar unflinching
faith, can see the Supreme Personality of Godhead by revelation.”
So if the householders will lay aside all of their doubts, putting
full faith in sastra and guru, they will become fully qualified to
see Krishna face to face and all the misgivings of material
existence will be conspicuous only by their absence in their sublime
Vaikuntha householder ashram spiritual existence in which the
Supreme Personality of Godhead will be personally present.
Transcending Bodily Identification
In the spiritual world even though the men and women are
inconceivably beautiful and regularly associate with each other,
there is no feeling of sex attraction because their hearts are fully
absorbed 24 hours a day in attraction to Sri Krishna. According to
our taste we attain our next birth. So as long as the taste for sex
pleasure remains within the heart we must take birth again in the
material world to satisfy that taste. One who actually gets a taste
for the topmost pleasure of Krishna consciousness will naturally
consider sex pleasure to be nasty and abominable. This point is
confirmed in the Srimad Bhagavatam 7.9.45 as follows:
yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham
“Sex pleasure, which is considered the topmost of all pleasures by
the materialistic householders, is indeed tenth class at best.”
Srila Prabhupada elaborates on this in his purport to Srimad
Bhagavatam 5.13.5:
“It is said that household attraction resides in the wife because
sex is the center of household life: yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ
hi tuccham [SB 7.9.45]. A materialistic person, making his wife the
center of attraction, works very hard day and night. His only
enjoyment in material life is sexual intercourse. Therefore karmīs
are attracted to women as friends or wives. Indeed, they cannot work
without sex. Under the circumstances the wife is compared to a
whirlwind, especially during her menstrual period. Those who
strictly follow the rules and regulations of householder life engage
in sex only once a month, at the end of the menstrual period. As one
looks forward to this opportunity, his eyes are overwhelmed by the
beauty of his wife. Thus it is said that the whirlwind covers the
eyes with dust. Such a lusty person does not know that all his
material activities are being observed by different demigods,
especially the sun-god, and are being recorded for the karma of
one's next body. Astrological calculations are called jyoti-śāstra.
Because the jyoti, or effulgence, in the material world comes from
the different stars and planets, the science is called jyoti-śāstra,
the science of the luminaries. By the calculations of jyoti, our
future is indicated. In other words, all the luminaries—the stars,
sun and moon—witness the activities of the conditioned soul. Thus he
is awarded a particular type of body. A lusty person whose eyes are
covered by the dust of the whirlwind or material existence does not
at all consider that his activities are being observed by different
stars and planets and are being recorded. Not knowing this, the
conditioned soul commits all kinds of sinful activities for the
satisfaction of his lusty desires.”
One who has actually tasted the pleasure of Krishna’s holy name is
no longer attracted by any of the allurements of this material
existence even all the way up to the topmost position in this
material world of becoming Lord Brahma. The inferior position of
even the topmost material enjoyment is confirmed as follows in the
Bhagavad-gita:
ā-brahma-bhuvanāl lokāḥ
punar āvartino 'rjuna
mām upetya tu kaunteya
punar janma na vidyate
“From the highest planet in the material world down to the lowest,
all are places of misery wherein repeated birth and death take
place. But one who attains to My abode, O son of Kuntī, never takes
birth again.”
Bhagavad-gita 8.16
In this material life sex is accepted as the topmost of all material
pleasures. Actually this is nature’s arrangement to induce the
human beings to propagate. There are so many distresses and
anxieties that one has to go through in producing and raising
children. So much burden of expense is there. Srila Prabhupada
explains that in order to counteract the distresses of having
children nature has given a pleasure coating on the genitals that
when stimulated gives one an intense pleasure. Srila Prabhupada
explains this in his purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 2.6.9 as follows:
“The genitals and the pleasure of begetting counteract the
distresses of family encumbrances. One would cease to generate
altogether if there were not, by the grace of the Lord, a coating, a
pleasure-giving substance, on the surface of the generative organs.
This substance gives a pleasure so intense that it counteracts fully
the distress of family encumbrances. A person is so captivated by
this pleasure-giving substance that he is not satisfied by begetting
a single child, but increases the number of children, with great
risk in regard to maintaining them, simply for this pleasure-giving
substance. This pleasure-giving substance is not false, however,
because it originates from the transcendental body of the Lord. In
other words, the pleasure-giving substance is a reality, but it has
taken on an aspect of pervertedness on account of material
contamination. In the material world, sex life is the cause of many
distresses on account of material contact. Therefore, the sex life
in the material world should not be encouraged beyond the necessity.
There is a necessity for generating progeny even in the material
world, but such generation of children must be carried out with full
responsibility for spiritual values. The spiritual values of life
can be realized in the human form of material existence, and the
human being must adopt family planning with reference to the context
of spiritual values, and not otherwise. The degraded form of family
restriction by use of contraceptives, etc., is the grossest type of
material contamination. Materialists who use these devices want to
fully utilize the pleasure potency of the coating on the genitals by
artificial means, without knowing the spiritual importance. And
without knowledge of spiritual values, the less intelligent man
tries to utilize only the material sense pleasure of the genitals.”
So the householder has a choice. He can follow the path of the
great mahajanas by utilizing sex pleasure only for procreation. Or
he can follow the pathway of those who are going down to the animal
kingdom in their next birth by utilizing sex pleasure for
recreation. One may feel that with all the anxieties of material
life that sex pleasure is the only relief that he can get from the
stress. But such a person is ignorant of the fact that recreational
sex does nothing except increase the stress of material existence
because it tightens the hrdaya-granthi, the hard knot of bodily
identification within the heart. All of our anxieties are simply
due to the fact that we misidentify with our material bodies. One
who realizes his transcendental nature becomes fully blissful. This
is confirmed in Bhagavad-gita 18.54 as follows:
brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā
na śocati na kāṅkṣati
samaḥ sarveṣu bhūteṣu
mad-bhaktiṁ labhate parām
“One who is thus transcendentally situated at once realizes the
Supreme Brahman and becomes fully joyful. He never laments or
desires to have anything. He is equally disposed toward every living
entity. In that state he attains pure devotional service unto Me.”
All one has to do to become fully joyful is fully establish himself
on the transcendental platform as an eternal servant of God, a
spiritual being, full of bliss and full of knowledge. This is
accomplished by surrendering fully unto Lord Sri Krishna under the
guidance the bona fide, expert spiritual master. How to do this is
described by Srila Prabhupada in his purport to Bhagavad-gita 4.34
as follows:
“The path of spiritual realization is undoubtedly difficult. The
Lord therefore advises us to approach a bona fide spiritual master
in the line of disciplic succession from the Lord Himself. No one
can be a bona fide spiritual master without following this principle
of disciplic succession. The Lord is the original spiritual master,
and a person in the disciplic succession can convey the message of
the Lord as it is to his disciple. No one can be spiritually
realized by manufacturing his own process, as is the fashion of the
foolish pretenders. The Bhāgavatam (6.3.19) says, dharmaṁ tu sākṣād
bhagavat-praṇītam: the path of religion is directly enunciated by
the Lord. Therefore, mental speculation or dry arguments cannot help
lead one to the right path. Nor by independent study of books of
knowledge can one progress in spiritual life. One has to approach a
bona fide spiritual master to receive the knowledge. Such a
spiritual master should be accepted in full surrender, and one
should serve the spiritual master like a menial servant, without
false prestige. Satisfaction of the self-realized spiritual master
is the secret of advancement in spiritual life. Inquiries and
submission constitute the proper combination for spiritual
understanding. Unless there is submission and service, inquiries
from the learned spiritual master will not be effective. One must be
able to pass the test of the spiritual master, and when he sees the
genuine desire of the disciple, he automatically blesses the
disciple with genuine spiritual understanding. In this verse, both
blind following and absurd inquiries are condemned. Not only should
one hear submissively from the spiritual master, but one must also
get a clear understanding from him, in submission and service and
inquiries. A bona fide spiritual master is by nature very kind
toward the disciple. Therefore when the student is submissive and is
always ready to render service, the reciprocation of knowledge and
inquiries becomes perfect.”
In this way, if the householder couple takes complete shelter of the
bona fide spiritual master by becoming his initiated disciples and
firmly adheres to the initiation vows, they are guaranteed to be
successful in attaining the spiritual world in this lifetime.
Regarding sex pleasure, the disciples vow to strictly avoid illicit
sex. This means that they will only have sex when trying to bring
a child into this world and that they will only indulge in such
sanctified sex once in a month after the wife’s menstrual cycle and
after they have both chanted at least 50 rounds of the Hare Krishna mahamantra on japa mala beads. Such sex life will bring a new
generation of great devotees into the Krishna consciousness movement
for delivering the entire world from chaos.
Completed on 4 April 2012 in Sri Vrindavan Dhama, India
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